


Heart and Soul

by malecfeels



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: And Magnus stops hurting, Basically Alec and Magnus TALK, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilty Magnus Bane, M/M, Malec, Post-Episode: s03e08 A Walk Into Darkness, Tags are unnecessary here, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:42:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecfeels/pseuds/malecfeels
Summary: A little something after S03E8- A Heart of Darkness...Magnus feels guilty. Alec talks him out of it





	Heart and Soul

**Author's Note:**

> All the episodes are literally killing me. I wanted to write something after every episode but this is only one I could complete.  
> It's just a short something I needed after the episode. It could be a bit over the top and drifting than what's happening in the show but i kinda went with the flow. It's not a fix it or whatever because I currently love the show a lot and don't want to be caught or surrounded by some of the negativity that's been going around. Even though it's true at times. I dont care. I am in denial. I just wanna enjoy the show and the angst and the love and cry over all of it.
> 
> Hope you like it <3

Magnus slowly sat down beside Isabelle and hesitated a bit before placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. It jarred her out of her distant gaze and thoughts. She turned her face towards Magnus, her glimmering eyes focusing on him. Magnus’ heart ached at the grief and anguish on her face. She was too beautiful and happy to look like that.

“Isabelle.” He said softly. “You should stay here tonight. Get some rest in the guest bedroom.”

“No. No I can’t.” Izzy was already shaking her head before he had stopped. “I have to do something. Find Lilith. He-help Jace.”

“ _We_ will do all of that.” Magnus said squeezing her hand. “But you and Alec need to rest for a while. Get your bearings back. You won’t be a help to anyone if you are too tired or-“

“I am not tired. I am fine.”

“I am not just saying physically.” Magnus said. “It was a tough night. Right now you are too emotionally drained to get anything done.”

“I ju-just…I don’t know what to do.” Izzy said miserably, hanging her head.

“Isabelle.” Magnus said, moving his hand to cup her cheek. “You are the pillar that holds your family together. You are one of the fiercest shadowhunter I have ever met, yet you have a heart full of love and warmth. Your family needs you. And I am confident that you will do what you always do. You just need to have faith in yourself.”

“You really think so?” Izzy asked, breathing deeply.

“I know so.” Magnus said with a smile. “Now come on, I have the room ready. Just a few hours and we will come with a good plan to save the day, okay?”

Izzy smiled slightly. “Okay.” She looked away towards the balcony. “Alec..”

“Don’t worry. I’ll force him to get some rest too.” He said assuredly.

“That might be tough. But if anyone can do it, then that’s you.” Izzy said huffing. “And he’s not the only one who has to rest.” She reminded him sternly.

“I’ll be fine. I have gone longer without sleep before. The only difference is the certain lack of liquor.” Magnus shrugged.

“Don’t be like that. You know you need some sleep as much as the rest of us.” Izzy said, narrowed eyes set on him.

“I will get some rest, don’t worry.” Magnus yielded.

Izzy knew he was lying but she could only do so much. The rest could be handled by her brother, she was sure. “Okay. Thank you so much, Magnus.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Magnus shook his head.

“Yes. I do.” Izzy said firmly, before getting up and walking away from him.

Magnus watched her go and turned his attention towards the balcony where Alec stood tall and stiff. He could feel the wave of emotions emanating from him from where he sat. He sighed; One down. One to go.

* * *

 

Alec wished he didn’t feel so numb. Yet at the same time he was relieved that he didn’t have to face the torrent of emotions that were coursing through him. All his life, he had battled the feelings of helplessness and defeat. It never got easier.

He clenched his eyes shut as Jace’s distraught face flashed through his head, his broken voice echoed in his ears. He had never seen his brother so broken and defeated before. He had never wanted to. The worst part was his inability to help him. Help his parabatai who he had sworn to protect.

“Alexander.” It took him more than a second to hear and understand that soft voice behind him.

He slightly turned his face to look at Magnus standing a few feet behind him. It lightened something in his heart to see him.

“I managed to convince Isabelle to get some rest here.” He continued. “You should too.”

“I don’t think I can.” Alec said mournfully.

“I know.” Magnus said softly. “I know it’s too much right now. But rest with the thought that we _will_ find a way to get Jace back. You know we will.”

“We _had_ him.” Alec said, gritting his teeth. The familiar anger and regret was pushing up. “It wasn’t easy but we did it. He should have been back with us. But we failed.”

“You and Isabelle didn’t fail.” Magnus shook his head. Alec was about to protest when he heard the small whisper. “I did.”

Alec turned around then to face Magnus. He could see the defeat reflected in him, his eyes conflicted and full of guilt. His beautiful face set in worried lines and shame.

“What are you saying?” He asked faintly.

“It’s my fault. I couldn’t stop Lilith. If only I had been quicker...stronger. Then Jace would be here with you.”

“You can’t possibly believe that.” Alec said, taking a step towards him.

“I said I would do everything in my power to bring him back.” Magnus said, hanging his head. “But I failed.”

“Magnus…” Alec said disbelieving. He felt shocked at what he was seeing and hearing. “How can you even say that? After everything you did tonight?”

“You don’t have to say this just for my sake, Alec.” Magnus shook his head tiredly. “I understand what I did.”

“No, stop it.” Alec said, taking another step and standing right in front of him. “You are acting as if all of this is your fault.”

“I gave Lilith that elixir-“

“Which I already told you she would have gotten with or without you. You were manipulated by the strongest demon there is.” Alec said. “That is not your fault and neither is this.”

“Alexander-“

“No, listen to me.” Alec said as he took his hands and joined them. He implored Magnus to look straight in his eyes as he said softly, “You don’t even realize all that you have done for me and my family. Especially when you have no reason to.”

“Of course I have a reason.” Magnus interjected, squeezing his hands.

“I know.” Alec said. “It’s because you are a kind person with a big heart. It’s because you can’t watch anyone suffer, not if you can help it. And it’s because you love me so much. You always help me. You are always there for me.”

“And I always will.” Magnus whispered.

“I know that too.” Alec said. “It’s why I love you so much. Because you are more human and pure than any angel out there. I wish that you wouldn’t put this pressure on yourself like this. I just want you to believe all the good you do in this world. Especially for me.”

“I could say the same to you.” Magnus said softly.

“You do say it to me. And I have started believing it too.” Alec said honestly. “I just want you to do the same. You can’t blame yourself for any of this. You almost drained your magic trying to keep us tethered tonight. You faced Lilith in order to protect us.” His gaze drifted to the faint red marks around his neck. “And you got hurt doing all of that.” he whispered, pressing gentle hands on it.

Magnus held his hand over his. “It’s fine. I am not hurt.”

“I can’t let anything happen to you either.” Alec said, swallowing hard. “I want to save Jace. He’s my brother and parabatai. He is a part of my soul. But you are my heart. I don’t want to save him at the expense of losing you.”

Alec saw the impact his words had on Magnus as his eyes widened and filled with a deep unfamiliar emotion. His hands tightened on his and he let out a shaky breath. “You won’t lose me. I’ll always be with you.” He whispered.

“And I you.” Alec promised. “We will do this. We will _win_. But we will do it together. You can’t go around blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. I have learnt not to do that from you.”

“I did tell you that a lot of times.” Magnus said, smiling through his glimmering eyes. “Guess I was being a bit of a hypocrite.”

“It’s how you are.” Alec said, caressing his cheek. “But I’ll be here to set you straight every time you start thinking stupidly like this.”

“I deserve that.” Magnus said, sighing. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Alec’s. “I love you, Alexander.”

“I love you, too.” Alec said softly.

“We will get through the rough times. I promise.”

“With you by my side, I can face anything.”

They stood silently under the dark sky, entwined in each other. They knew war was brewing at the horizon and they had to fight a lot more before they could find peace. But for that moment, they had each other and it was all that mattered.

* * *

 

THE END

 

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**Author's Note:**

> If they had more time, then some version of this would definitely have been there in the episode.  
> But what is fanfiction for, right?
> 
> I can't wait for the two hour finale and the EDOM ANGST. It's gonna destroy me.
> 
> Share your feedback. I loveeee to hear from you guys <3 <3


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